The most difficult chore.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have very slowly been trying to catch up on my laundry.  Today, I realized this chore is the one the makes me most emotional.

Today, I did my bleach load.  In this is my underwear, socks and towels.  I haven't done my bleach load at all since prior to Vincent's birth, so well over 1/2 of the items in there were worn while I was still pregnant.  I can't believe how emotional I got, because I felt like I was "washing away" my pregnancy.  Once those items are washed and dried and the next time they touch my skin, they will have nothing of my pregnancy left of them.  I feel like, with each item that I wash, I erase my pregnancy a little bit more. 


Even worse than washing, is folding/hanging up my clothes.  Nearly everything I own is in a laundry basket because I know that as soon as they are hung in my closet, I may never get the chance to wear them while pregnant again.  I don't want to face the reality of that, so I leave it in my garage and hope it disappears.

Of course, the fact that my daughter just turned 2 years old and my son is now 2 weeks doesn't help.  I am not ready to NOT be pregnant, so I am certainly not ready to let my children grow up.