Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Not again!

Vincent is 3 weeks old today and I am already obsessing about when I will get to be pregnant again.  I know that we absolutely cannot afford another child right now, and yet, that is the last thing on my mind.  All I can think about is when, when, when. 

Is it absolutely crazy that I actually feel jealous when I read about somebody finding out they are pregnant?  How could I be jealous when I just finished the journey that they are beginning?  I should be happy that they get to experience the joys that I was just able to experience.

On a better note, my emotions have gotten much more stable.  It has been days since I've cried and I actually feel happy that Vincent is here, rather than sad that he isn't in my belly.  I have moved out of "I want him back in my belly" to "I can't wait to experience a new pregnancy."  While that maybe isn't the healthiest of mindsets to be in right now, it is a lot better than where I was a week ago.  Any progress counts, right?

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